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How Horses Make Us Healthier

July 10, 2015 by hannahelise 4 Comments

One of my goals for the year of 2015 was to ride more. Actually, I know goals are supposed to be specific, so I put it like this: “Ride 2-3 times per week, because it makes me happy and grounded”.

Happy and grounded? Interesting way of putting it. Of all the things that I could have focused on as the reason behind why I should be riding (moving around, getting exercise, taking care of a horse who needs to be ridden, just to name a few), doing something that makes me happy and grounded was what was the most important to me. To put it another way, my goal was: “ride more, because it keeps me emotionally healthy“.

Physical health is a great thing that we get from riding. But in my opinion, the emotional health that we gain is far more important– and harder to get from other types of exercise. We can hike, we can go to a workout class, we can go for a run. Those things all keep us physically healthy, right? But horses… they give you something much more impactful. They give you peace. They give you emotional health.

Let me ask you a question. What do you feel like when you leave the barn? Next time you’re there, I want you to take notice of this feeling.

Here’s what I feel like…

“… Aaahhhh.” A big sigh. And then some deep breaths. And then everything is quiet. And my mind is finally still.

Being with horses is like a big sigh of relief. Like a weight has come off my shoulders, and I feel like I can breathe again. It’s funny, whenever I pull up at the barn, I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel like I can’t breathe. But I always notice a positive difference when I leave, in comparison to before.

Dan Fries of The Jodpurs Company recently emailed me with the infographic below, and I found it so true. It’s all about how horses make us healthier, and interestingly enough, much of the health relates to emotional health — not physical.

Here’s some of the best reasons that horses make us healthier:

Increased Empathy

Horses allow us to be a part of something — we’re a vital half of a partnership. A partnership where you both learn and grow, and you’re in it together. This feeling, the feeling of being “in it together” is what Simon Sinek says is a result of a release of oxytocin in your brain. This chemical is actually what creates intimacy and trust between two beings, working together towards one end goal. It’s the feeling that someone will protect you. PS- you can read more about this in his (spectacular) book Leaders Eat Last.

Reduced Stress

Riding reduces your stress hormones, so says a Washington State University research study. They tested and compared the stress hormones of 2 groups of children: one group worked with horses just an hour and a half each week, and one group did not. The group that worked with horses had significantly lower levels of stress hormones.

Lower stress levels help prevent weight gain, and can ward of future mental health issues.

Rider’s High

Do you ever get that feeling 2/3 of the way into a ride where everything is just great? You’re cantering along, and you think, I could do this for dayyyys. Your horses is loose and warmed up, you’re relaxed and responsive to him. And you’re both just chugging along, enjoying the ride. (I used to think of this as my “cantering brain” — I’d dream of cantering in my sleep, and it always felt like this moment in the ride.)

Guess what this moment is? It’s a rider’s high, just like a runner’s high. The feeling of being able to go on forever, because you’re enjoying it so much. In your brain’s world, it’s actually a release of endorphins and seratonin, the same “happy” chemical your brain gets when it does any sort of exercise.

Increased Strength

The strength you get from riding has always been somewhat interesting to me– it’s different strength that you might get from lifting weights, because instead of building muscle by moving heavy things, you’re building muscle by trying to stay as still and relaxed as possible. Completely opposite.

When you are pushed 1/4″ to the right of your center of gravity, your leg and core muscles have to immediately tense in a few different tiny spots to pull yourself back into balance, and then you have to relax. At the same time, you’ve already been pushed 1″ forward during the stride, and your body is keeping you still in the saddle. It’s this dynamic motion of tiny muscles constantly tensing and relaxing.

This constant web of muscle interaction is what keeps great riders looking completely still and utterly quiet even when the horse has huge movements underneath them.

Improved Self Esteem

I’ve said this one before, and I’ll say it again. Horses make us feel good. They make us feel good about ourselves and our life. They make us realize that we can take on the world. We’re responsible to keep them happy and healthy, and when you succeed in that, it feels good. Plus, your little girls (and boys) are controlling an animal that is 10x their size. It’s all very empowering.

When 7 out of 10 girls don’t think they measure up to other girls their age (we’ll address this issue another time, because it surely is an issue), any boost in healthy self esteem is helpful and worthwhile.

PTSD Recovery

Equine therapy is a real thing, and is used to help with both physical and mental issues. Just being around horses can help you achieve more emotional balance. But did you know that veterans often use equine therapy as a way to reduce PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses?

Calories Burned

Last but not least, of course there are physical health benefits! I love this example below, because it shows you how many calories you burn when you ride. No, it’s not as much as you might burn in an hour of running… But your riding time is not going to waste — you’re burning a lot of calories, so it’s not just exercise for the horse.

You can count on burning about 400 calories per ride, when you do an average of 20 minutes of walking, 20 minutes of trotting and 20 minutes of cantering.

So go out and tell your non-horsey friends once again, “No, we’re not just sitting there!”

Tell me in the comments below, what do you think it is about horses that makes you a healthier person?

The 14 Most Important Things My Grammy Taught Me

February 27, 2015 by hannahelise Leave a Comment

My grammy, Marion Libby Broaddus, was a spectacular woman.

Mainly because she was such a unique person. She was 9th was a generation Mainer, who had a strong, witty personality and an attitude to boot. She always reminded me of the classic 1950’s ad with the woman saying, “We can do it!”.

She taught me things that I couldn’t have learned from anyone else. As a girl finding my place in the world, my grammy was integral to keeping me tied to my roots, and growing up in the right direction.

I originally drafted this article almost a year ago, after a week where I spent almost every day with her. I felt inspired to write down all of the wonderfulness that I felt about her.

I’m publishing this article now one week after her death, as a celebration of the life that she lived, and the far reaching influence that she had. These are her most important life lessons for us all.

1. A strong women is the center of her family’s world. Be engaged with them, and they will encircle their lives around you.

If you are the center of your children’s world, they will keep you engaged in their life as they grow, from near or far. Be involved, be loving and be an inspiration to them. If you do that, you’ll be the kind of person that your children won’t ever want to let go of.

2. Girls are just as strong as boys. Go work hard. Go play hard.

My grammy had 3 brothers, and then later, she had four boys. Up until my cousin and I came around when she was in her late 60’s, she had spent her entire life surrounded by boys. She learned to keep up with them when she was young, and she learned to strictly oversee them as a mother.

Because Maine is more of an “equality-driven” place than a “chivalry-driven” place, she learned from an early age that she would have to hold her own and she could do anything that they could. She was never held back by any assumptions about the way a woman should live.

From day one, she told me that I could do anything, and I knew she was right, because she already had.

3. When you’re raising kids, be tough. Don’t let them take advantage. You’re here to guide and encourage, but you’re still in charge.

My grammy was a middle school math teacher for many years. When I went through school, I was asked by a local teacher who recognized my name, “Was your grandmother a teacher in Westbrook? I had her when I was young… she was tough! She didn’t let us kids get away with anything! But man, what a sweet lady.”

Sweet but firm, that’s the motto. Truly invested, I think, is a better way to put it.

4. You’re responsible for your own behavior, and you have to live with consequences.

My grammy made a point to tell us grandkids when we were in high school that if any of us went to jail, she wouldn’t bail us out. She told us, in fact, that she would let us sit in there.

“Spend some good nights… looks like you needed to learn a lesson if we were in there anyways!” she said. This always made us smirk and raise our eyebrows a bit; we never could quite figure out why she thought we might be going to jail.

Lesson learned though: if you’re going to do the crime (be it with the law, your family, metaphorical, etc.) you will have to do the time and no one else is responsible to step in and help you out of it.

5. Sometimes life is tough. Deal with it. It keeps on moving with or without you.

The kids still need to be fed, no matter what else is going on in your life. That’s ultimately the bottom line. Sometimes things are hard and unfair, and the only thing that you can do is have control of your own reactions and keep working as hard as you can.

Also, there will come a time when things are not so bad. Don’t worry so much either way… You can only do what you can do.

6. Everyone could use a good hug. Everyday. Even if you’re not an overly mushy person.

My grammy was never a highly emotional or expressive person. But she was always good at hugs. Even if you don’t like to express your every feeling, just giving a good hug can make someone’s day.

Give real, good hugs, more often than you think you should…

7. Don’t judge people based on how they look. Judge them based on their kindness and their actions.

My grammy was a cook for a mess hall in Maryland in her 20s. She ran a large kitchen that fed over 150 men. She employed african american men in a time and a place where it was not yet the norm. Looking back, she thinks so fondly of those men that worked with her.

Up until her death, she always expressed some confusion about the need for the civil rights movement in the first place — she wondered how people didn’t see equality as a given, a baseline for everyone’s life to begin with.

“People are people, are people,” she said to me once. People are people, are people. No exceptions.

8. Education is the best thing that you can give to yourself and your kids. Help them be successful in school and you will help them lead a good life.

After marrying and having four boys, she decided to go back to school to get her Master’s Degree in Education. This was in the early 60s, a time where not many full-time moms would think of going back to school for their masters. But she did– she was a mom of 4, and she put herself through school to get her graduate degree.

All four of her children watched her closely, and learned the value of their own education. In turn, they each worked hard, put themselves through school and worked towards a building rewarding, valuable career that was fulfilling to their soul.

Don’t underestimate the value of your hard work and education. Your values will be passed down from generation to generation and your efforts have the power to make many of your future family’s lives better.

9. Don’t overthink your life. You never really know which path to take. You just have to trust your instinct and try something different if it doesn’t work out.

Don’t think too hard about the right path to take. The only real compass that you have is your reasoning power and your instinct, the latter being the more important one.

Follow them, but don’t over think your own life. You can always make a change, shift your goals, and start anew if need be.

10. Have a strong, active body. Being to old or too busy is not an excuse.

Until she was about 90, my grammy walked 4 miles every day, without fail. She chose an activity that she enjoyed and she kept at it. She moved her body. She stayed active, and therefore she stayed healthy for a long time.

95 is a long time to live and how she took care of her body played a big part in that.

11. Think about your own life first. You are the primary person that will care about you.

You are in charge of you— your feelings, your reactions and the path that you take. My grammy always encouraged us to think forward about out own lives. Make a choice, and move forward with it, without looking back.

Don’t rely on other people to bring about the changes that you want to see.

12. Divorce isn’t the answer.

My grammy believed in hard work, patience and commitment— in every aspect of your life, including your relationship.

No relationship is perfect. She was well aware of that. But when I asked her about her marriage, she had the similar adage that most of our grandparents did: you just work it out. Work it out, work it out.

Don’t stay in a miserable situation, but sometimes putting others’ happiness (like your children and your extended family) is more important. Sometimes the family that you’ve built is bigger than you.

13. Do something with your time and your hands. Have a hobby or a craft. Give back to your community.

For the last few years of her life, I’d call her every few weeks. “28!” she’d say. “I’m up to 28!”. And the next time we talked, “32! I’m up to 32 now!”

She was knitting mittens. Many, many pairs of mittens for young kids at school who may not have anything to keep them warm. She’d drop them off in droves each fall.

Make something for someone. Do something to make their life better. Life is so much bigger than just you.

14. Dance

Be silly. Be happy. Laugh. But most importantly, dance.

The Life of Marion Libby Broaddus

Her funeral will be held on Saturday, February 28th at 1:00pm in Westbrook, Maine. I welcome anyone who was touched by her life to come celebrate her with us.

Do you have a story about your grandmother or what she taught you? Tell us in the comments below, we want to hear about the amazing woman she was.

Why I Love Draft Horses (And Why You Should Too)

July 27, 2014 by hannahelise 24 Comments

Everyone who knows me knows that I’m a draft person. A person, who above all other horses, loves draft horses. It’s true, I am a draft lover.

Know anyone like that? I think it happened when I got my second horse, a Clydesdale cross who I named Gemini. He knew nothing, I knew nothing. It was a spectacularly terrible mix. Plus, he was incredibly frustrating, and was big enough to overpower me. Sound familiar? Anyone who’s dealt with a draft horse knows what I’m saying. So, how is it that now, I’m crazy about draft horses? Enough to write an article about it?? Well, after years together, it’s safe to say that he won me over… Wholly and completely. Here’s why I love drafts– and why you should too. If you’re debating what kind of horse to get, please, let me weigh in.

Why I love draft horses– and why you should too.

1. They’re just big teddy bears.

The general rule with horses: the bigger they are, the gentler they are. Of course, there are exceptions to all rules, but this is a well accepted one. Draft horses especially (as opposed to large warmbloods or thoroughbreds), have been bred to be gentle giants. They’re generally quiet, cuddly and just plain sweet.

2. They don’t hold grudges.

Part of the calm and quiet mindset means that they’re pretty accepting of their surroundings. If you have a moment while you’re riding where you need to explain something to them, it might take a bit, but they won’t hold anything against you in the future. They’re willing and they generally just want to please you. They are a bit different than other breeds, who might hold grudges after “training moments” or times of frustration for either of you.

3. They’re calm and safe. Usually.

Gentle giants. They’re big, but they don’t have excessive energy or have any grand desire to run. They also aren’t easily spooked, and just take things as they come. They are usually just happy to hang out as long as they have a purpose– whatever job that may be. They’re not known for bolting or spooking, though unique personality is the biggest teller in all horses.

4. They don’t have a harmful bone in their bodies.

I’ve known some horses that just had their own desires of their mind, rather than other people’s. Drafts, on the other hand, generally just want to please you… Which means they aren’t trying to think about how they can avoid you, get away, run off, etc. Even young green horses generally just want to make you happy and they’re trying to figure out how to make that happen.

5. They’re willing to learn (though it may take a little while).

They want to please. They spend a good amount of time just following in line, trying to figure out what you’re asking and how to do it. However, some drafts can be a little slow when it comes to learning something new– it goes along with the quiet calm disposition. They’re not necessarily going to be at-attention at all times, or responsive in a “hot” way. That’s part of what makes them wonderful. Just take it as it is. If you’re not used to it, you will be soon.

6. They’re powerful.

There’s beauty in that power. There’s something about being connected to an animal so large, and having them so in tune with you. It’s a very special thing. Keep in mind though, when they’re frustrated or in the moment of “I’m trying to figure out what you want!!”, they can use that power against you. Many draft horses in training will pull with their shoulders (naturally, their preferred strong part of their body) to get where they want to go. This is all a part of the training process– if you‘re prepared for it you’ll get through it.

7. You’ll start to get them, and they’ll start to get you.

Drafts have a particular mentality. It’s different from ponies, or Thoroughbreds, or even warmbloods. Those who have lived their lives around draft horses can attest to this. You’ll begin to connect to and understand when they get overwhelemed learning something new, or the situations that they feel most relaxed in. After 12 years riding almost only draft horses, I personally feel the most comfortable around them. I know what I can expect. And after a while, you have just begun to “get each other“.

If drafts are your kind of horse, consider yourself lucky.

They’re not for everyone, it’s true. But if you feel drawn to draft horses, consider yourself lucky. You’re around some of the best, most special horses there are. Of course, I would think that! Who’s your favorite draft horse? Tell us in the comments below.

7 Ways To Deal With Your Teenage Daughters So That They’ll Appreciate You Later

April 21, 2014 by hannahelise 22 Comments

I was a bit of a horror, as far as teenage daughters go.

My mom and I fought, almost daily, for many of my early teenage years. I was a pain, to say the least, with a strong personality in a house of sweet, tender and quiet family members. I was always right and very independent at far too young. I wasn’t respectful of the boundaries laid before me, but I refused to lie– so I would lawyer my way into proving that my point of view was right. The result was never ending fights, that seemed to merge into one another. Her poor mother, you’re probably thinking… you’re right.

I say this because now, I understand both sides. I’ve been the unruly, emotional teenage daughter. And I can look back at it from the eyes of an adult now: both with guilt for being so unruly and with sympathy for my poor ma, who must have felt like she was going out of her mind.

Yes, I know– I will get my payback when I have girls. For years I’ve thought a lot about how I might raise them. I’ve wondered if I’ll make the same parenting choices or if I’ll wield an iron fist.

There are a few things though, that I’ve decided were key to me growing up successfully– things that I would do again with my daughters when their teenage years come barreling in at 11 or 13 or 14, whenever teenagehood decides to show up.

I hope this helps some of you mothers, that are in the depths of mucking around in “teenage daughterhood”, wondering when it will ever end and you can just drink hot tea together and be friends again. In the depths of where you are, don’t forget these things– she will appreciate you for it later.

1. Listen, listen, listen.

My mother did me a big favor from the day I was born: she always, always, always listened. She took my point of view into account, even from when I was a child. I never felt like my point of view mattered less because I was younger– I wasn’t ever “just a kid”. I was a person, with real feelings and worthy opinions.

That’s the truth of it though, isn’t it? Girls have real feelings and opinions, even as little kids. If you listen to her, you’re building an internal truth that her feelings matter. That they’re worth hearing. You don’t have to give her what she wants– you just have to listen and really hear her.

2. Don’t trivialize her day-to-day drama. That stuff matters.

I had the unfortunate luck of going through my first break up on 9/11. I was in so much despair that I couldn’t quite comprehend what was going on around me in the outside world. We all know what was the more important event in the long run… And perhaps I was a selfish teenage girl for not being more involved that tragic day. But at that moment, I couldn’t see outside my little bubble. It was a time to think about me, and to go through feelings of loss and anger for the very first time. It was my own personal death of a relationship, which felt so immediate compared to the collective pain around me that I could do nothing to stop.

When she goes through these big life moments, drop everything to be the one who comforts her. She’ll remember if you’re the lap she sobs on. Girls don’t forget things like that.

3. Insist on honesty.

Your daughters will probably start doing things that you don’t want them to do very soon, whatever those things may be. There is not a whole lot you can do about that, no matter how many strict rules you put in place. Through the generations, kids have always learned ways to get around those rules and do what they want to do, no matter what. This is true now more than ever.

So let me ask you, is it better that she sneaks out of the house at midnight to go to a party, or that you know that she’s at a party and you can help her if she needs it (or even save her, you never know)? This is an honest question that you need to ask yourself, and you can base your decisions off you answer– this one is very personal. I presented this question to my own mother at 16, knowing that I was going to do as I pleased, and she could be in the loop or not.

No parent wants to really have to answer this question, because it makes you feel completely out of control. And it feels like a slap in the face– like she’s deliberately disobeying your rules. But if you take a step back (and 3 deep breaths) you may find yourself with a different understanding. She’s going to test boundaries, you know this. You’ve known this for a long time. And if you promote telling the truth above all else, you will have a few advantages: 1.) you will know where she really is, which is always safer, 2.) she will know that if she needs you, really needs you to stay safe (and alive– for example, if her drunk friend insists on driving her home) she can call you. You will still love her.

There can still be repercussions for going against your rules. Just insist that she tells the truth, above all else.

4. Give her independence, if she’s really clamoring for it.

The teenage years are the start of a long push for independence. If she really, really wants that independence, you will probably be better off to give it to her, little bit by little bit. Some people are just more apt to want independence early, and if she’s really pushing for it, she’s probably just one of those personalities.

With girls like that, it’s better to give it to them and let them return to your arms on their own. They will. Once they feel responsible for their own actions, their own choices, it’s likely that they’ll want to return to being a little girl pretty quickly after that.

5. Give her affection, a lot.

Yep, she’s going to feign disgust. She’ll push you away. She’ll roll her eyes. Just smile, ignore her and hug her and kiss her anyways. Keep doing it just like you did when she was 6.

That too cool for school attitude is completely normal, especially when she’s embarrassed. But trust me, she notices when you reminder her that you love her. And she notices if you don’t. Ignore any personal feeling of rejection or being pushed away, and then be affectionate anyways. And then do it again. She’ll remember it years from now, those constant reminders that you love her– those things will matter the most when she moves away and starts her own life. And then again when she starts to raise her own girls.

6. Don’t be perfect. Just be your own personality.

Girls aren’t looking for perfect mothers. They’re looking for real mothers. Mom’s that yell and then apologize for being too mean. One’s that have weird quirky habits. One’s that have flaws, and struggle with things in their own lives. One’s that talk about their struggles, and work through them.

It sets the precedence for being real, for being authentic and for loving yourself just as you are. It teaches her that life doesn’t just suddenly fall in line at some point– that everyone continues to have their own struggles, no matter what age.

When you are willing to share your own downfalls, admit your mistakes, try again and be open about your challenges, it will show her that she should do the same. Not just with you, but with friends and later with a husband. Don’t we all want to help girls grow into real, empowered women? This is the base of it.

7. Ask questions. Give advice. Be involved in her life.

Be involved. Know her friends, know her goals. Know what’s going on next Saturday night, or who’s mean to her at school. It’s so easy to become a someone on the sideline at this point in her life. She won’t invite you to play in the muck of her life unless you insist on being there.

Don’t miss her most important events, even if it’s not convenient. If she comes to you for breakup advice at 11:45pm, wake up and give it then. Don’t hesitate. It will set the precedence that she can come to you next time when something happens, and the time after that. This kind of support and involvement are what real relationships are based on; it’s the important stuff in any friendship. It’s also the foundation of what you’ll build your mother-daughter friendship on for the next 30 years.

More than anything, just keep going– it will get better soon.

Arguing and being at odds– that’s the tough stuff of classic mother-daughter relationships. You just have to make it through in the teenage years. But if you stick with it, if you stay open with her and remind her every day that you love her, she will emerge from teenagehood at some point. It’s inevitable.

She will leave for school or for a life of her own and suddenly miss you, like nothing else she’s ever missed. And the two of you will be that much closer, because you’ve been by her side through everything. Mothers and daughters who fight, find themselves in the best of relationships a few years later.

So just keep going. It will get better soon. I promise.

Add to this list in the comments below. I want to know, what else have you done with your teenage daughters that you know they’ll love and appreciate you for later?

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